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[Sep. 14th, 2007|08:47 pm] |
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Is it alright to be jealous of your little sister?
She dumped her old boyfriend yesterday and literally, hours later - like 4 or 5 - she had another boyfriend. I wish I had that luck. She has had more boyfriends in one year than I have had in my lifetime. It sucks.
One, she's cuter than me. I mean, I'm not ugly, I don't think - o_o - but I'm definitly not the prettiest girl on the block.
Two, I tihnk I'm intimidating. My mom says I have "a forceful personality" and apparently that is a turn off for guys.
This sucks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|07:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Ever talk to a complete and total stranger? It's refreshing.
I was messaged on Myspace by a guy named Robert who is a friend of a friend. Well, we got into this very deep conversation over right and wrong. He seems pretty interesting and intelligent.
I should talk to strangers more often. ^^''' |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|07:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
Okay, not much going on in my life right now, being it is summer vacation here and my life becomes extremely boring during summer.
Anyways! Tonight, my family and I were watching the tape from my awards ceremony. I went up to get my attendance award. Well, that day, I was wearing a nice blouse, a knee-length skirt, and my favorite heels. Once you get the crappy piece of paper, you had to finish crossing the stage. Mr. Averill, the most perfect man on the face of the earth who just happens to be my history teacher, was sitting on the far left on the stage from the audience's perspective. As I passed in front of him, he looked and stared at my legs the entire way to the stairs. I have the evidence on tape! When I saw that, I was so happy, but I was sitting the room with my family so I couldn't squeal. Damn it...
Sorry, I had to post about it because it made my day. ^///^ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2007|06:34 pm] |
I did this as a Myspace bulletien, but it turned out to be very amusing, so I'll post it here.
What Your Music Says About You
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
>>>No cheating!<<<
What does next year have in store for me?
Bleed by Anna Nalick.
How would I describe my life at the moment?
Paper Bag by Anna Nalick. [Actually it kind of fits.]
What's my love life like?
In My Head by Anna Nalick. [Two things. One: that actually has become the theme song for one man. Two: Why does Anna Nalick keep showing up?]
What are your feelings about your current fling?
Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? by Fall Out Boy
What do I say when life gets hard?
Auf Acshe by Franz Ferdinand
What do you think of when waking up?
Crimes by Perfect Circle [o_o Yes, because I'm a criminal...]
What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Judith by Perfect Circle. [Totally inappropriate, especially for a wedding, but hey!]
What song will be played at my funeral?
Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick. [Am I morbid for laughing at that? Ah, man. That was priceless]
How will I be remembered?
Cool - The Jets (West Side Story) [Hey! Works for me! ^^''']
What do you want as a career?
Figures A and B (Means You And Me) by Hellogoodbye
Your favorite saying?
Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne. [It's kind of creepy how well this is working out.]
Favorite place?
Time To Dance by Panic! at the Disco. [The club?]
What do you think of your parents?
Grim Goodbye by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. [O_o]
What's your Pornstar name?
I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers by Fall Out Boy [That's a really long name.]
Where would you go on a first date?
Off The Hook by Barenaked Ladies. [Sounds like a plan!]
Drug of choice:
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen. [If you know me, then you'd understand the joke.]
Describe yourself:
The (After)Life Of The Party by Fall Out Boy [Damn straight!]
How would others describe you?
My List by The Killers. [...oO]
What is the thing I like doing most?
Another One Bites The Dust by Queen.
What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Catalyst by Anna Nalick. [In a way, yes]
If I were a song, what would I be?
Killer Queen by Queen. [Fucking A'! Dynamite with a lace of beads/ Garanteed to blow your mind!] |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|05:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy. | ] |
Ok, totally random entry, but this is bugging me.
There is this song by Fall Out Boy called Bang The Doldrums off of their latest album Infinity On High.
There is conflicting lyrics, and in one case, I don't hear any of the so called lyrics in the actual song.
There is a part where the sites says it says "In the back of yellow checkered cars," however, if you listen to it, it doesn't sound at all like that. I, for one, don't hear "yellow checkered cars;" I hear "yellow chicken calls." If you look at the rest of the lyrics, it does make sense. (Here are the lyrics, by the way) Now, I understand how I might have misunderstood him because this band is known for mumbling and slurring their words. However, to further prove my point, there is no "of" in the song. It would not make sense to say "In the back yellow checkered cars." In fact, almost every time he takes a breath where "of" should be. "In the back, yellow chicken calls..." makes sense: yellow chicken being another way to say "a rotten egg". Last one there is a rotten egg sort of thing. Instead, they're a yellow chicken. Weird, yes, but it does make better sense than "In the back yellow checkered cars."
If anyone else hears this, please tell me so I don't think I'm going nuts here. Here's the song with lyrics in the video
I'm not the only one! See! I'm not nuts! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2007|02:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Was Hoping - Alanis Morisette | ] |
Well, Mr. Averill left today. I was very sad, but I don't think he figured it out. Let me share The Saga of Saying Good-bye to Him.
Well, it pretty much started on Friday. I walked into his classroom that morning, and when I walk up to him, he said, "Just the person I wanted to see." Turns out he made me student of the month for June for U.S. History. I was thrilled, to say the least. He had to take my photo for the display case and I stood in front of this huge American flag he has in his room. He got me to giggle, so naturally my smile got bigger. "That'a girl," he said and after he took it, he said, "Looks nice!"
On Monday, I was under the impression he was leaving that day - I turned out to be wrong, but moving on. Nonetheless, I asked him to sign my yearbook (which is just a stack of computer paper because in high school they don't give out yearbooks until the next school year which is silly, in my opinion.) Here's what he wrote:
"Alison,
May the road always rise up to meet you. (Irish proverb) You will do well and you will be missed.
Mr Averill"
Generic, yes, but I love the proverb. (I realize I'm reading into it way too much, but what the hell?)
Tuesday I went to his room as well, but he was bouncing all over the place as usual so I didn't really get to talk to him.
Today...he was leaving today. I go to his room and I just sat there in silence as he worked on something for his classes. Occasionally he would mumble something; I guess he thought I was getting bored, but really I could sit in there all day in silence with him. The bell rang for first period so I picked up all my stuff and he came over to me and put his arm around me. He told me something; something to the effect of good-bye. I told him I was going to come back and annoy him off and on; he said he would love me to. I thought that was the end of it.
Apparently not. We had the junior awards ceremony today - which was bullshit, by the way. (A post for another day.) He wore a suit too! I love men in suits; it's so sexy. Well, anyway, I got perfect attendance and when I went up to get my distinguished honor roll award, I had to pass by him because he was sitting up on stage. (He had to present the history awards.) "Good job, Alison." Every time I do something good, he'll always get such a proud look in his eyes; it makes me melt. True to character, he had that look on his face there and my face lit up.
After that was over with I went back to his room to get my things. Everyone was telling his to have a good trip, summer, etc. etc. I was standing there waiting for my turn when, again, he came over to me. Well, the hug earlier may have been considered a hug, but it's not all that special, you know? Well, this time I actually got a "frontal hug" - as the school rulebook calls it. It wasn't much, I realize, but I remember it so well. His arm went around my neck and my arm his shoulders. The stubble on his chin scraped against my cheek. He squeezed the nape of my neck comfortingly. And it was over. It lasted a second, but to me, it felt like forever. (Sorry for all the details, but I couldn't help myself.)
"See ya, Slick," he said, and I replied, "Have a good trip, Mr. Averill." "You too...Well, that is, if you take a trip," he finished with a grin.
Well, I go to my next class and when I turned into a deserted back hall way, I started to cry, but I stopped myself. God, I'm going to miss him. I mean, yes, I had a massive crush on him. He was my idol though, long before I developed those feelings for him. He's such a fantastic teacher; he holds your interest, he's so passionate about his work and he cares deeply for his students.
I plan on keeping my promise to keep annoying him; three months of summer is just too long though.
Sorry for the extremely long post about nothing. I had to get it off my chest. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|06:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "I Was Hoping" by Alanis Morisette | ] |
Wow, I looked back on some old entries of mine and I realized just how long I've had this journal. It's almost scary; I feel old. (Kidding, kidding.)
I've decided - like many times before I know - that I'm going to start updating this more. My summer vacation will be here in 9 days - sadly - so I'll have more time to update anyway.
Well, not much going on. I took my history exam today. It was pretty easy and I think I did well. I got A's on the two papers I did for that class as well, which made me very happy. I got a little "certificate" for getting a perfect score on the SOL for that class, as well. I love it when I do well in that class; Mr. Averill gets such a proud look in his eyes. I might be seeing things, considering, but the pats on the back are very nice. ^^'''' Turns out he's actually leaving Wednesday night so today wasn't my final goodbye which I am very grateful for.
Tomorrow the freshmen are going on this huge field trip to Maryland so basically over one-third of the school will be missing. Very exciting thought, although the idea of being the only kid in my band class is kind of creepy.
Oh! Backtrack! On Saturday, I went shopping and I bought the coolest, most comfortable shoes on the face of the planet! They are hot pink with little black stars on them; they're made of canvas so they are so comfortable to walk in. I love them! Yes, shoes can make me that happy. (Although, many of my friends weren't too happy with the pink; I don't see why pink is such a detested color. It's so exuberant!)
Awards ceremony is on Wednesday as well. I know for a fact I'm getting the Perfect Attendance Award and Honor Roll, but I haven't heard anything about any other awards. I think I might get a certificate for my Student of the Month's, but nothing special.
Other than those things, nothing much is really going on. The school year is winding down and I hate it! I hate long breaks; I become brain dead. I think I'm getting a job though so I won't become too stupid. Here's hoping! |
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| This was going to be on DA |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|11:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
I was going to post a huge rant on diviantART, but too many people would see that, so I won't. But I'll post it here. I need to get my thoughts out to someone and I hoping against hope that someone will come along and read this.
I'm just sitting here, stewing. I'm so pissed and I don't even know why. Stratch that, I do know why; the why's are just really simple, but they are pissing me off so much. A lot of things have been pissing me off lately, little things.
Like for one, I began to whore myself on Gaia for a roleplay because I'm just that pathetic. One guy who responded was a 13 year old who uses asterisks and wanted to roleplay the Justice League. The next guy sent me a PM saying he wanted to do a roleplay I'd been craving lately, and he has not responded to my plot line yet. It's been 6 hours since I sent him the plotline. I realize he lives in Sweden so he's probably fast asleep right now and has been for hours, but it still makes me angry.
And another thing, my sister gets on the computer for hours! playing Solitaire... We have decks of cards, a lot of decks, and she has to get on for two hours playing it! But wait, my mistake, she was talking to two friends over AIM. Sorry, I just assumed from all the parties she has been going to that she actually has a social life unlike some people. Why can't she socialize somewhere away my one friend?! Yes, a fucking computer has become my one dependable friend lately because every conversation with Sam ends up crashing and burning and Laura is too social for me to get a decent conversation out of her or she's too busy obsessing over precious Dingo to bother talking to me.
Sure, she'll talk to Dingo until fucking one o'clock in the morning, but when it hits 8 o'clock for me: "Hey, I'm gonna go to bed. I'm sorry." Why don't you just say what you fucking mean? What you mean to say is, "Hey, I'm gonna go talk to Dingo or do bullshit on the computer until midnight because you're boring the fuck out of me, bitch."
Thanks.
Apparently, I just the mandatory person-who-is-nothing-like-you-and-doesn't-do-a-god-damned-thing-you do-but-you-hang-out-with-anyway friend.
I don't know who to run to anymore. Mom tired of hearing me bitch. Laura doesn't understand fucking anything, especially now that she has seen Dingo again. I could never run to Sam. My teachers probably already think I'm nuts. Mr. Boyd hates my fucking guts. I could never talk to Dad or Megan; they'd just yell at me.
I've always been very vocal about my frustrations and now, no one wants to hear them. No one will even pretend to pay attention long enough for me to get everything off me chest.
You know what, how dare Laura call me five minutes after she leaves VA Beach complaining, crying over how much she misses Dingo. I wish I had somebody to miss. Oh, wait, I miss Laura!
...I miss Laura...
I have to admit though. Most of my anger towards Laura is jealousy. Why can't I find somebody who just as crazy about me as I about them? Or even somebody who is as vaguely attracted to me as I am crazy about them? No! I have to go and lust after every male I can't have.
But this whole situation has been a real eye opener for me.
1. I am so revolting to men that a lesbian gets a boyfriend faster than I do.
2. Apparently, I'm not a great a friend as I've been lead to believe I am. I am replaced by a nineteen year old New Yorker in less than a week. But, hey, they like everything the other person likes. They're soulmates. Bah.
3. The only things I can trust are objects that can't talk or move. And even then, they malfunction on me.
4. I am a horrible, pathetic person who can't even take a friend's happiness as just that.
And this whole thing probably seems really immature. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|07:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
I don't know why. I'm surrounded by people who care about me and people I haven't seen in years and would love to get to re-know. I can meet so many new people and the theatre kids are great at my new school, but...
I feel so alone right now. I just really want somebody. It's kind of why I've been harping Laura so much to RP with me. Just to make me believe I'm not alone. I'm so emo... I feel stupid
I hope Laura doesn't see this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2006|05:56 pm] |
Save some face, you know you've only got one
Change your ways while you're young
Boy, one day you'll be a man
Oh girl, he'll help you understand
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Looking back at sunsets on the Eastside
We lost track of the time
Dreams aren't what they used to be
Some things slide by so carelessly
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
And someone is calling my name
From the back of the restaurant
And someone is playing a game
In the house that I grew up in
And someone will drive him around
Down the same streets that I did
On the same streets that I did
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Oh no, oh no no no
Oh no, oh no no no |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|10:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
I kind of wanted to avoid making this journal all emo-tastic like before, but I have to get this off my chest. That and Laura wants me to update
Steven is losing interest and it's breaking my heart. I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached, but I did. He keeps talking about this one girl who likes him, or used to, and whom he claims he hates. Laura says he really is annoyed by her. I'm probably over-reacting like usual, but I don't want to hear it. He probably wouldn't want to hear about Chris and I haven't talked about.
I really want to see him. I have no idea what he looks like or if he's shallow. For all I know, he could see me and run away, screaming. I could be repulsed by him, though I doubt it. I have no idea what his hugs are like. I have nothing to daydream or even dream about. There's nothing to see when I close my eyes. Yesterday, at the drama slam, Joey and Eric played a song about missing someone who means the world to you. Eric told us to close our eyes and imagine the one who means the world to you and I had nothing. Only his voice. It's not enough. I'm selfish, I know, considering Steven's situation, but still. I don't know if he even wants to see me. Maybe he never asked his aunt about us meeting at all, and just told me he did to make me happy and naive.
And I feel so bad talking to other guys now, even casually, especially Jon. (Jon can never take a hint.) I feel like I'm back-stabbing Steven and I have no idea what he's doing with other girls.
Hell! we're not even dating, technically, yet I'd still turn down a date offer if I ever got any.
I don't know. I doubt this will ever take off. It will never work. Yet...
I'm still going to call...
How pathetic. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|08:42 pm] |
How do you know when you're in love with somebody or in love with love? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|01:27 pm] |
Well, Laura wanted me to update, so here I am.
The play I'm in is going nicely and Laura promised she'll come. Steven said he might come and if he does this'll be the first time I will gave seen him.
I'm on the phone with Laura right now and she thinks I'm talking only about Steven, so I'm going to prove her right.
SQUEE!!!
I love Steven! He's so cool. He so nice and caring and I love talking to him. He's always asking about the play and he remember what I wanted to be in some obscure conversation we had. And, from what I heard, if Laura wasn't lying to me, he likes me alot. SQUEE!
I'm acting like a school girl -_-''' *Sigh* |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|03:22 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | rant | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  I hate that god damn Jon | ] |
It's plain to see
That what you feel for me
Can't compare to Kim or Summer
All of your former lovers
I'm sorry that I sit there silently
As you talk endlessly
About how horrid you are
Well, I thought I saw
Something in you
But I guess that isn't true
No confidence or bull
I don't know what you're trying to pull
But I won't fall for this again
Placed here before and all it was was pain.
I'm not a basketball, so why am I used for a rebound?
And I always think, "Oh, they'll come around."
But not anymore
It's not going to end up like before.
I know I'm 15 and I should be living life
And not dealing with this romantic strife
But it's kind of hard to find a highschool sweetheart
When all of the guys remember the old one who acted harsh!
And here I am crying
Remembering all the lying
That you don't even know about
Because I don't spill my heart
Out on the floor for you to see
So you can say, "I can't date you.
You're still hung up on that asshole"
Well, maybe if I just had someone to hold
Maybe if someone outside of the bloodline cared
I wouldn't be so damn scared
About not finding someone else
I can't get through by myself
Then people like you go around messing with my mind
Telling me, "No, not yet. Give me some time."
Well, maybe I don't have any time to spare
There's an uneven score of who I've cared
For and those who have cared back,
And all of those people were girls!
Do I lie and say I'm a lesbian and give that a whirl?
I care for you,
I really do
I want you to care back, that's all.
But I'm tired of being used like a basketball. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|04:49 pm] |
I started making dolls on saturday and I wanted to get some opinions.
Example:
( Read more... ) |
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